Friday, 12 June 2015

Become a Technology Hero

Think you're clued up in the IT department?
A quick conversation with speccy Steve from Desktop Support about the keyboard issue that you're having will quickly bring you back down to earth; you know, the one where every time you typed nothing happened, but then it turned out to have been a disconnected wire... ah yeah...

We're going to run through basic, and we mean BASIC, support for your everyday technology woes...


RULE 1.)

If the email looks dodgy, it probably is. Didn't order a mail bride? Didn't have an accident in the last 12 months? Didn't speak with Erikka from Latvia about bedroom concerns?
DO NOT OPEN SPAM/JUNK EMAILS. Please don't forward them on either, IT's clever virus scanner will blame and shame you in an All Staff email.


"It's a bug". The most annoying and non small critter related term that a web developer could use to bamboozle you when they've made a change to the system but haven't thought of the knock on effects. 
You've asked for a new function to your customer account sign up process and suddenly, no one can create a new customer account. It must definitely be a bug, and no way related to the recent change to the customer account sign up process... 


"I didn't get your email."
Okay, we've all heard this one a few times and sometimes it just hasn't hit the inbox and gone straight to Junk. You could well have one of those cryptic email addresses so that no one can ever get it correct unless you email them - e.g.  Nine times out of ten, it actually did come through but you were so busy being hypnotized by the 36,789 unread emails in your inbox that it was overlooked. 
LISTEN and I mean LISTEN UP PAL - Delete the ones that you don't need. Surely you must feel some sort of Zen after doing this? Surely?! 
Then there's only 25,657 to say that you didn't receive, liar. Hop to it!


Excel. DUN DUN DUN...

"Once you know how to use it, it's real easy...", they all said and laughed along knowingly. Well, actually when you're asked to create Sparklines... SPARKLINES?! Who on earth knows how to do that.
So here's some random intermediate Excel things that Youtube tutorials can save your a** on:


Just don't show yourself up by asking the following questions before checking...
  • "My mouse doesn't work!" - Is it plugged into the back of your PC? Or if remote, has it got batteries?
  • "I moved my screen and now it's gone black!" - Check the power cord is in, and that you didn't touch the soft standby switch around the back, please.
  • "The numbers will not work on the side of my keyboard!" - Is Num Lock on? Press it. 
  • "It won't print!" - Have you chosen the correct printer? It is it set to CutePDF and now you have saved 100 PDF files to your desktop? Yep, that's why.
  • "My PC has turned off?!" Did you kick the plug socket, well, did you?

Tweet us with your Tech Talk @Office_fruit

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