Wednesday, 11 March 2015

Is Your Office Nuts?

Agony Aunt, FFTO, is here to help!

Fruit Hoarding
You receive a delivery from your office fruit supplier each Monday. Upon your arrival at 9am, there are 5 pieces short from your delivery note - peaches. EVERY week. You've worked out who is in from 8am and who likes peaches - playing detective is fun on a slow day. Ask the hoarder directly if they're taking the fruit, from what should be a shared delivery. Kindly ask them to leave the fruit in the nearest bowl or in the delivery box for everyone to take a piece. It will only deteriorate quicker in a closed draw and may even go to waste if not kept in the correct conditions.

Idea Napping 
You've been putting together a plan of action for the past week; you've got your meeting notes prepared for Monday and then BAM! Julia is speaking to the decision maker with your ideas! We highly recommend that at this point you breathe deeply through the nose and disappear to the coffee machine, where you can mutter under your breath as you see fit.
Refrain from throwing Julia under the bus at this point, but when in a clearer frame of mind perhaps pull your boss aside and refer to your meeting plans for Monday. Let them know that you have been preparing for quite some time, so that they recognize your hard work, and drop in how excited you are to discuss. When your meeting arises, don't refer to Julia as the secret squirrel that stole your limelight. Show them that the ideas came from you; they'll soon know an imposter when they've spoken with Einstein.

Catty Comments
Negativity breeds negative vibes. Try to avoid those Moaning Mondays around the coffee machine and think positively - you'll find yourself in a much better mood. Keep yourself Zen by reading these great quotes. If you find yourself at the end of those catty comments from Connie in the kitchen, speak with HR immediately. Workplace bullying is not acceptable.

Stationery Stealing
You had five pens last week, today you have no pens. Who on earth is eating/storing/stealing/stashing your pens? GRRRR. You may be particularly miffed if your special pen that you stole from that business meeting goes missing, it was so comfortable to hold *sniffs*.
Have you ever been to the hairdressers and noticed that there is a brightly coloured dab of nail varnish on each of their hair dryers or comb? If needs must, adopt this method of marking your scent on the stationery, it'll soon be identifiable on Ruth's desk. NB: We do not advise licking rulers to mark your scent.

Teacup Taking
Everyone has that cup that they prefer. You can work in an office 100 strong but know that Peter prefers the Arsenal Mug. Suddenly, someone has glided by a desk and gasped... 'You've got my mug!' You couldn't comprehend how many petite arguments that this causes.
The best way to avoid your fave mug going amiss is to keep it in your desk drawer, wash and dry up each day. WA-LAH - Hidden treasure! NB: Again, we do not advise licking your mug in order to claim territory.

Shouty Shirley
Some people feel that shouting their opinion will make it heard because their voice is louder than yours. In the animal world, the loudest roar may win but in a professional environment the volume does not count - but the contents of what you're saying.
If a member of your team persists to shout at you, wait for them to finish what they're saying/shouting and then slowly, and very precisely respond with your point. When you confront them and make them aware that how they're speaking to you is not acceptable, then bring them to see your preferred level of communication, they will recognise that their behaviour is wrong.

Lazy Larry
We've all worked with that one colleague that really isn't pulling their weight. It can become a real pain for everyone around them to pick up the baton and avoid potential mistakes.
We've found that the best way to approach said 'Lazy Larry' is to ask them if they're finding their work difficult. It could be that they are struggling and this is slowing the pace. If not, let them know how busy you are (guilt trip alert!) and that it'd be great to get some assistance. Making Larry aware that their slacking has not gone unnoticed in the worker-bee hive will give them the sting in the backside that they need to get moving.
Alternatively, seek regular office fruit delivery to increase productivity and motivation through better health :)

Try not to let the little things get you down, there's always a solution to a problem!

Tweet us @office_fruit if you've put a stop to fruit hoarding!

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